Tales of the Incredible Hoke Robertson

As I take a small rest from chiseling the 40 foot statute I was commissioned to make for the Sultan of Brunei, I am reminded of one of my less known adventures. The year was 1973; I remember it because it was the year after I won the Gold Medal in the Pentathlon at the Munich Games. Those were the games where Bruce Jenner won the Decathlon. He and I became fast friends as he too is a Mason. On a goodwill trip sponsored by an athletic shoe maker, many of the Olympic medal winners were visiting far off lands to promote the benefits of sport, sportsmanship and international cooperation.

When we landed at the Timurlane International Airport in Uzbekistan, we were greeted by a large crowd of eager fans. It was quite embarrassing to see people with posters of my face seeking autographs and just plain wanting to meet me. Anyway, after putting on a shooting demonstration at the old Nizari Ismailis fortress of -Stabbin-al, some of us were invited to participate in a local feast. It was a very exotic scene as we sat around a huge woven rug upon which the delicacies of the orient were displayed for our sampling. One cannot imagine the ephemeral flavors of roasted goat eyes in yak yogurt. Those of us in the west have no idea how ancient history and ages-old customs of the east affect the modern life of today's inhabitants. Each group remembers every "wrong" from the last 3000 years; one group still identifies with the Great Khan, another with the Moguls, and still others with the flood of some particular religion when it had its turn crashing upon humanity and bringing faith by the sword. Anyway, eventually it came down to the entertainment and I was invited to participate in the sport of Buzkashi, where two groups of horsemen vie to drag, haul and throw a goat carcass across a field to score a point.

It got a little rough, but my long history of equestrian experience earned those many years living with the Mongol herdsman stood me well. At one point a frustrated Kyrgyz tribesman got mad and threw the goat carcass at me in frustration. At full gallop I slipped under my horse to avoid the impact, but the goat ended up hitting Bruce Jenner directly in the face. He was rushed to the local hospital which treated him as best they could. His doctor, Bedde Sabba, MD was a bit odd but became very close to Bruce; even lying next to him in the hospital bed at night during recovery. Once back in the US of A he ended up having to have reconstructive surgery to “fix” what had been done. That, not the rumors of a bad face-lift are why Bruce looks like he does today. Anyway, the friendships made at that event served me well in later years when I was helping the Mujahideen during the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, but that is another story. HOKE ROBERTSON